When we grow up in difficult households, sometimes we feel like there’s nobody else in the world that understands us. We spend a lot of time feeling alone.  So, when we find another person or people that seem to get us, we tend to cling to that – we put a lot of value in it.  Sometimes, we can jump into those relationships full-bore.  We can move in, spread out – take up more space than the other party is really willing to allot to us.

We tell ourselves stories about the relationship, about the depth of it.  And we build on that, just as we have in the past.  And then we operate not from the perspective of the relationship as it really is, but from the relationship as we wish it were – as we perceive it to be because of our need for it to be something else.  And that’s a lot to ask of another party. 

Sometimes this can be worked out if the person that we’re dealing with is pretty solid.  But if not, sometimes these relationships can blow apart because the person – or people – can’t live up to the expectations that we have of them.

Nor should they…