Codependency, counter-dependency, and the inability to receive…

It’s been said that you can’t pour from an empty cup.  It’s also been said that you can’t receive in a cup that’s filled.  For a cup to be of true value, to be truly serviceable, it doesn’t remain full or empty; it transitions between those states as necessary:

I’m thirsty, so I fill a cup.  I drink from it.  The cup empties.

My friend is thirsty, so I fill a cup. I give it to my friend.  They drink from it.  The cup empties.

When we’re healthy, we learn to become both the full and empty cup as required.  In the sickness of codependency and counter-dependency, however, the truth of the matter is that cup is never empty.  It’s always filled with one thing: my own need for safety, for love…

If you’d like to see more, please check out the latest episode of my podcast, “Putting it on the wind,” on YouTube.