One of the hardest things to do — especially for those of us who’ve carried a lot of pain for a lot of years — is simply to sit with it. Sometimes that pain shows up as body memories, sometimes as emotions or old stories that seem to rise up out of nowhere.

They can get into our heads, start pulling the levers, and before we know it, we can start acting out into the world in ways that might not be too nice.

And then comes the aftermath…